. Back talkin' with Bonita .

someday soon-

2011-03-21T21:17:00.000-07:00

there are three versions of this song, lyrics switched up ever so subtle that make all the fucking difference. i just love the sheer dreariness- the drag, the unknown point made. The feeling is felt.

Someday soon, someday soon

Familiar freaks will fill your living room
Rugs lash out with their lizard tongues, you’re not getting young
You’re not getting young

And I hate to remind you but you’re going to die
All by yourself in the infancy’s lie

Someday soon, someday soon
Television bleeding like a harvest moon
Flush the scissors down the hole, you’re getting old
You’re getting old

And I hate to remind you but you’re going to die
And you’re going to be needing all of your lies
You’ll be all alone when the cannibal’s cry
All by yourself in the infancy’s lie

Someday soon, someday soon
Someday soon, someday soon

+

"i want a rannnnge life"

2011-03-15T20:44:00.000-07:00

Gone to shoot the shit with the ol' man for the past few weekends.
Nothing but good times:

+ family reminiscing
+ wellie's new home
+ fresh made beefy jerky skinned from a deer.
+ twizzlers
+ 'blue mountain beers'
+ monopoly
+ spades
+ science/nature talks
+ old photos
+ coffee on the porch
+ deer spotting
+ getting stuck in the mudd
+ overalls

3 souls 1 lost 1 gain

2011-03-11T20:41:00.000-08:00

Some roads that you take

Some bonds we'll choose to break
I swore I'd no long be the pallbearer
But I carried you to bed
So you could rest your head
You were taking off a load, heavy drinking
The world it carries on
Your memories and song
And your pictures on my wall, are not forgotten
There was hymns that came from mouths
That turned crosses upside down
But it came through their teeth with great ease

And all are bobbing heads in sync
And all have got a lot on their minds to think about
But you carry on in pictures and in song
And the unmade be you slept in
Where I laid you down to rest one last time
Goodbye, dear friend, Goodbye, dear friend

Some stories break your heart
And some with such applaud
Buried deep inside, where it's ok to cry
Some boy's won't shed a tear
Oh, but I tell it like this here
It can break down and get me where it hurts the most

And all are bobbing heads in sync
And all have got a lot on their minds to think about
But you carry on in pictures and in song
And the unmade be you slept in
Where I laid you down to rest one last time
Goodbye, dear friend, Goodbye, dear friend

But you carry on in pictures and in song
And the unmade be you slept in
Where I laid you down to rest one last time
Goodbye, dear friend, Goodbye, dear friend

+ Miss you everyday and more gramps.

television bleeding, harvest moon-

2011-03-04T11:42:00.000-08:00

Last Friday I got tattooed-
On my left shoulder cap i got a Harvest Moon.
a De(e)ar friend Gia did it, in her new Brooklyn sunny studio apartment.

A Harvest Moon?
Yes.
If you are an up to date reader you should know...
1.) I love anything involving : sun, stars and moons. (harvest being a favorite)
2.) I am rebuilding a relationship with my father (science teacher)
3.) I have vivid memories of my father and grandfather always singing "Harvest Moon" - Niel young
4.) Easily a favorite song.
5.) Within the tattoo and the moon's cravats is an outline of a female, which I like to think represents
my spirit.

Here are shitty photos that serves the art no justice:

She is still healing, in fact there are still dry patches. Red is a bitch to heal, and quite itchier than normal.
I also have deep olive skin, which is why I had to go more red than orange. I am waiting for it to fully heal,
to decide if i want more shading of another tone of orange/red to be added and/or a filler around
the actual moon. I haven't decided yet, I currently love as is. I do love the reactions I have gotten. Some don't see the female as quickly- for it blends in with the contrast of the moon's surface. I've had people trace the outline to finally see, hey there's a lady! She's a meaningful addition and will go hand in hand with the present idea for my right shoulder. I am done for now with tattoo's. This will be my fifth. I used to think I wanted a sleeve, but as time grew- I too sheaded away from that idea. I'm currently diggin' the more hidden idea of tattoos, separate from the rest. And there you have it; my two moons. Get my corny ass joke?! hars!

+

owner of a (broken) haircut:

2011-03-02T20:24:00.000-08:00

owner of a (broken<3) haircut: is really what i mean but HTML won't let me. but solve my riddle.

today i got a haircut. No, a literal haircut. with layers.
if you know me at all, you first hand know- i don't get my haircut and in the off sense i DO, (usually occurring every 3 years) it never makes a difference. But today....i got a haircut? and to be honest it still, never made a difference. In fact now, i feel like an idiot with a haircut. Haircuts are stupid and make you have false assumptions on people you think are cool. The act of getting our hair done is so belittling. We've created yet another mindless judgement system off of something so dumb as a....follicle. I feel like this could be an episode of a children's comic book lesson. BECAUSE I'M A COMIC BOOK KID!

However, my hair does feel and look healthy, and i get that stance. It still is stupid. How(how)ever,
my gal, Rebecca (not bootin' ya yet) did a good job! So, if you think i'm an idiot- go get did by her at Supercuts, in the ton. She'll be one shoulder shruggin to the tunes while yelling "I quit!".

And well, it would only be right if i end it with a current hit-

"Some of the biggest mistakes in my life have been haircuts."
- Jim Morrison

love.

2011-02-17T21:51:00.000-08:00

Casey proposes to Amy from One Small Instrument Pictures on Vimeo.

Message Recieved+

2011-02-13T16:01:00.000-08:00

Why did you not tell me you had a blog? :D

Almost two years running and I did not know this? This was a big surprise to me because I didn't even know you were capable of doing what you were doing. And here we are talking about which direction you want to take!

I took a good look at it. Oh yeah. A real good look at it. You jump around from music, poetry, personal thoughts, visual, everything. And what you talk about and how you put it all together was how I used to do it back at the Stony Brook Press and Myspace. Reminding me of how I used to do and where I was at.

You even take it a step further and show yrself going to all these shows and parties and get-togethers. Not in a forced FB way but in a more trendy, hotter, drop-it-like-it's-shit-hot experience.

Because of this, you're the most diverse female friend I know/have. Being diverse is a BIG fucking plus on the island full of clones, wanna-be's, robots, and dolls.

What REALLY bothers me about yr blog (and the only thing) is that I hardly see people commenting or saying shit about it.

I have so many ideas for a blog/site and my ass is being kicked. I really need to jump on a quick!
Keep it going!

On another note, did you take in anything I sent you the last time?

+
vmfx left this in my inbox.
An instant warm exposure. A man of great literature, knowledge and wisdom.
A man with an ear and a mouthful of music. If you have returned, Thanks-
i really appericate the feedback and the intrest. Also, sorry. I'm terrible
with the other emails, I will reply! :)

Sample(d) Love

2011-02-08T12:13:00.000-08:00

Me time:

2011-02-07T09:29:00.000-08:00

taking the time off from:

. poor food
. facebook
. useage of my cell phone
. going out
. the useage of my car
. spending money
. humans
. cleared my cell phone out of people i dont share a life with anymore

starting up:

. body detox
. continue reading
. coconut water again
. cottage Cheese
. morning runs
. set bedside mode
. preparing for warm weather

+ i haven't checked myself in a while, the time is now.

if you made it thus far, use your resources to find me. +

eyesclosed xx.

2011-02-06T19:07:00.000-08:00

And she doesn't know; he doesn't know-
but there are those that do.
and in between the two:
are the rings they drew.
drawn together.
torn together.
the rings: beneath the eyes that don't see
but show the deapth their in.
and in your head it's never what it seems;
and in your head you make a scene.
SETTLE DOWN THAT PRETTY LITTLE HEAD OF YOURS.
we all become sinners at night.

(MMM)Morrison-

2011-02-01T22:50:00.000-08:00

I often look up/read Jim Morrison's words/lyrics because i have so many rare/different versions of songs. I wanted to look up a versions of "Back Door Man" off The Complete Matrix Club Tapes. While googling, I stumbled on this article of someone who googled "What is a back door man?" I then read through the entire article, including the comments. Some of it made me laugh. One line stood out to me, "However, if there's anything I've learned with age, it is to not always trust in the obvious." Cheers! +

http://www.bernzilla.com/item.php?id=53

The article basically displays three ways that others are led to believing what the blues term of "Back Door Man" really means/stands for:

1. Referring to a man having an affair with a married woman, and presumably comes and goes through the back door of her house.

2. On a literal stance: Having Anal Sex. "When Morrison and Plant were around, anal sex was even more taboo than it is today, and society was even more likely to blow its top (no pun intended) when someone mentioned anal sex."

3. 'Back door' is in the way of SNEAKING into concerts, usually the "back door man" helps to get another in. "Sneaking" and "Back door" on two different meanings, joining as one.

As a Major doors fan there’s just too many references throughout several songs that led us to believe it only means one thing. The Affair stance. My case in point brings me to the song "The Spy." The version of this song Live At The Boston Arena, Morrison adds on how his woman’s been bad, he's seen her with another man." Even without that clip, the song alone talks about "know knowing deepest secret fears, I'm a spy, I can see, what you do, and I know." If you know Morrison, you know his ways. Wild.

That's one way I believe it's just a reference to having an affair, sneaking out the back, and being Morrison. The second reasoning is mentioned in the article. In the song "Back Door Man", when Morrison sings out: "You men eat your dinner. Eat your pork and beans. I eat more chicken any man ever seen", it shows that the wife is feeding him better than her own husband. - As mentioned. "I'm a back door man, The men don't know, But the little girl understand" Sure, I don't doubt it was meaning and being the anal aspect as well, being it was the 60's and it was Jim. But after all, Jim Morrison is all for words!

And if you really ask me- thinking of scandalous Morrison is way more exciting as the what may first seem obvious.+ ::wink::

brooklyn boastin'

2011-01-31T21:56:00.000-08:00

you wanna be here-

2011-01-31T21:20:00.000-08:00

[k]
kristofferson
joe lee
sycko
dirt
cinematic
moon
s.kudsen
noreen

are my best conversationalist's.

Library.

2011-01-29T12:22:00.000-08:00

type these words into your itunes library and name the first song that appears.

Happy: Best Coast - "Happy"
Sad: Le Loup - "Saddle Mountian"
Love: The Avett Brothers - "I and Love and You"
Hate: The Stokes - "Between Love and Hate"
Light: The Black Keys - "When the lights go out"
Dark: BLANK!
Good: The Doors - " We could be so good together"

Bad: Built to Spill - "Bad Light"

Smile: Lilly Allen - "Smile"
Cry: The Doors- "The Crystal Ship"
Girl: Animal Collective- "My Girls"

Boy: Iron & Wine- "Boy with a coin"

Morning Messages:

2011-01-29T09:06:00.000-08:00

At 4:45am I cam home Friday night to this: from [k]

Dear Victoria,

I hear you when you call my name.

Love,
Crazy Carl

P.S. - I hope you love me back. I have a beard.

i also receive another a message on good ol' facebook from a stranger

around the same time:

"I read your philosophy on death, that was an interesting way you thought of it"

Not me. The God, Morrison.

Don't let me die in an automobile

I wanna lie in an open field

Want the snakes to suck my skin

Want the worms to be my friends

Want the birds to eat my eyes

...As here I lie

The clouds fly by

Amazing, Start to Finish

Lizard King.

Way ahead of us all.

at night we give ourselves to the moon

2011-01-26T20:32:00.000-08:00

your stranger like touch;
one whiskey like glow that could out shine the moon-
at high noon it will no longer matter.
those ungodly things-
mark my body as a home.
i keep you around my finger;
like a rubber band to a thought.

Double D's aren't always great.

2011-01-26T11:11:00.000-08:00

Distance is Depressing.
I miss you (haha i ment to write 'so') many friends.
Each day, I am over Long Island. hmph.
I just want the snow to go away so i can go home.

...in so many words.

hmph.
+

I made one-

2011-01-24T19:31:00.001-08:00

http://www.last.fm/user/AnonymousAries

it's only with one of my hard drives stored with Music.
Do add, Do share, Do enjoy!

Grace & Tucker.

2011-01-24T15:42:00.000-08:00

Meatloaf Night from Grace Manalo on Vimeo.

This is Grace and her man Tucker.
I adore them dearly.
Just look!
+

Grace is over in Delaware, I really miss her.
She made a few viedos on her blogspot and
they left me with a huge smile and a warm heart.
Happy for her.
Nice Meatloaf lady!
Come home soon!

http://gracemanalo.blogspot.com/

+

Incense and Their Uses:

2011-01-22T21:15:00.000-08:00

Blue Berry - Burn to keep unwanted influences away from your home and property
Blue Roses - Specially crafted to honour the Goddess in all her aspects

Carnations - A sweet floral scent traditionally used for healing

Cherry - Sacred to Venus, this blend will attract and stimulate love

Cinnamon - Use to gain wealth and success

Coconut - Burn for protection and purification

Copal - Sacred to the Mayan and Aztecs, this blend is suitable for honouring the Gods

Frangiapani - Burn to brighten your home with friendship and love

Frankincense - Draw upon the energy of the sun to create sacred space, consecrate objects, and stimulate positive vibrations

Honeysuckle - Burn for good health, luck, and psychic power

Jasmine - For luck in general, especially in matters relating to love

Lotus - For inner peace and outer harmony, to aid in meditation and open the mind’s eye

Musk - Burn for courage and vitality, or to highten sensual passion

Myrrh - An ancient incense for protection, healing, purification and spirituality

Passionflower - For peace of mind, this sweet scent will soothe troubles and aid in sleep

Patchouli Patchouli - An earthy scent used in money and attraction spells

Pine - Burn for strength, and to reverse negative energies

Rose - For love magick, and to return calm energies to the home

Sandalwood - A delicious all purpose scent used to heal and protect, also for purification

Spice - A fiery scent to be charged for any magick

Spirit - Raise your personal vibration, attract spirit guides and honour
your personal deity

Strawberry - For love, luck and friendship

Tangerine - A solar aroma used to attract prosperity

Temple - A devotional incense for the altar during ritual

Vanilla - Stimulate amorous appetites and enhance memory

my motherearth in me.

2011-01-22T21:03:00.000-08:00

this, is my mother. I am best of both worlds.

planned plans.

2011-01-22T20:51:00.001-08:00

“One day you’re out here- broke… trying to put together enough for a sandwich. The next day you really got it happenin’– sittin’ in a studio you bought – and in the village, no less. Don’t ask me how it all happens, man. I guess you just keep going; you gotta groove through all the darkness…”

-Jimi Hendrix

MM FOOD, and i ain't talkin the good album.

2011-01-22T20:13:00.000-08:00

Some people like to wine and dine.

I, love a good old town's deli.

On a sunday morning or anyday.

The morning lifestyle of a deli is something a diner could never reach.

food for thought, fah-realz. ( idk where that came from.)

this is what i label as 'dope' +

2011-01-20T20:47:00.000-08:00

...my space funk.

...light it and take a drive with. The beat. Thats where my head is found.

being my friend involves: brain tweakers

2011-01-20T09:46:00.000-08:00

Randomly at 12:00 at night I texted a random selection of people asking them to "Name a song right now..." Some took it literal and gave me current hits on the radio, while others gave me funny, bizzarre, random, wildest songs. Some gave reasons why the chose it. Some cheated and gave more than one. It made me laugh to see what everyone chooses and who chose what. It also made me laugh to see how each person took that question. I got to learn a lot about certian people and see where their heads are at. I know some real fucks! :) And Some are even gonna make it to the ipod!

Brien McCarthy said - Put it down on me - 50
Jaime C - Baby got back - Sir Mix A lot
Joe Lee - All you need is love - the beatles
Cassel - Wild Thing - Jimi Hendrix
Grace - Pretty girl rock - Kery Hilson
Sycko- Pretty girl rock - Kery Hilson
Tj- i need a dollar - aloe blacc
Jon Clue- Transylvanian Hunger
Carolyn- Barnacles - Ugly Casanova
Rick p- hahaha umm Fire Work - Katy Perry....where did that come from and where have you been all my life? i said it cause it was the last song i heard on the radio i swear im not gay haha"
Caroll- Gone till Novemeber - wyclef
Nils- Your Touch - The Black Keys
Bj and Chad- Achilles Last Stand -led Zeppelin
Mike Dirt- "Dig up her bones- The Misfits. Whats with the back from the dead call?"
- also "Une San Lumiere" - Arcade Fire
get ready: "for real" - Okkervil River,
"Love Burns" - B.R.M.C
Take you on a cruise- Interpol
"love will tear us apart- Joy Division
"Torches Together" - MewithoutYou
"Twilight" - The Raveonettes
"Maps" - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
"bloc party"- This Modern love
"remind me" - Royskopp
Meazy said - " Getting jiggy with it" - Will Smith , I just played it at the bar on the juxebox it gets everyone jumping.
Johnny p- Warmth - Incubus
Cinematic - Umm The Xx remix of "you've got the love"....why?
Brooklyn Steve- A violent yet beautiful world - Au Revoir Simone
Twang One- Can we still be friends - Todd Rundgren
Sevo- he was knocked out.
Natlie- Crazy - Areosmith
Lexi- first that comes to mind is, Say My Name - Destinys Child

+ Thanks for contributing to the maddness!

video for thought+

2011-01-19T19:39:00.000-08:00

End of an Era.

2011-01-17T22:34:00.000-08:00

January 9th was the official day of my job's location closing. It didn't hit me until last night.
The gang that made Ricky's all went out for a final goodbye, dinner and drinks.
Together, we are quite the group. I don't think I ever laughed so hard.
The ladies that i worked with are all gems within gems.
I hope the best for everyone and know I still see them all.
I can honestly say no job will ever have that same experience that went on for 3 years.
Real cast of characters and times made.
+

the nomads get housed.

2011-01-17T21:50:00.000-08:00

Saturday, I spent all morning running around then headed up to CT to celebrate and help Lisa move into her first apartment! It was exciting. I'm real happy for her. If anyone deserves it, it's her the most. We made a joke that her life if finally good. Lisa's shuffled from house to house, couch to couch and not once complained. She just did what she had to do. I admire her a lot for that reason alone. Lisa put herself through school, this year bought herself a car, helps take care of her niece and her father...all with a smile on her face, at the toughest of times. We used to call ourselves the Nomads, because we were forever sleeping everywhere. One of my favorite Lisa stories steams from when she was working at a small local super market. Everyday she'd work two jobs in hopes to someday go to school. As she worked, customers became regulars, one in particular took a liking to her. He was an older man, well dressed, warm hearted. In fact, Lisa and I went to school with his son. As he loaded his things on Lisa's line, he began to mention how much he sees her working in here and in town often. Lisa mentioned it was for her to go to school and pay the bills. The gentlemen then carried on a conversation with her and presented her with an offer: If she was as serious as she seemed about school, he would pay for her first few semesters if she received good grades. I will remind you that he was a semi stranger and to pick your jaw up from the fall. Yes, this went on for quite sometime. Lisa remained getting nothing less than an A on every radiology exam. I just really love this story for obvious reasons. I proud of the gal. After we settled out most of her stuff, well...she handed me a coloring book while she sorted all her clothes we headed down to the bar were our dear friend James was playing a show. Easy Street is the band, James is the nasty bass player. Nils accompanied us. I haven't seen him in years, yet we still talk quite often. I've missed him. He's always been a good look blue eyed gentlemen. Can show me a good time with nothing. We met him at the bar, when we got there he had two beers waiting for us. It's been a while since i've been to a bar filled with my people. It's a total different experience when you go out and don't know half of the heads there...and you don't really want to anyways. Anywho, I saw a lot of old faces I haven't seen in years. But i can not tell a lie and say that I really just wanted to be with Nils and Lisa. I was so excited the whole night...the surroundings were great, the vibes were there and the music was just right. As the night got older, it was time to throw the towel in. At 3 AM we decided to get fires. I feel asleep in Lisa's car on the way home. She still got me the fries. As her first house guest to sleep over, we went to bed. The next morning we woke up with the words...."This is so cool" the fact that she had her own place. We layed in bed and giggled at each others expense for about an hour until Nils called to get breakfast! The 3 of us went to 3 brothers diner. After, we went to get Nils a new shirt with his gift card because he had burned a hole in his favorite shirt. Lisa picked out a black, red and gray flannel and I choose a brown, tan and forest green. Nils bought them! It fit his, best beard having, ray ban glasses wearing, loud white pick up truck drivin' self. After that, we went back to Lisa's...because we can do that now! A few hours later, I packed it in and set home. It was good fun. +

thing(s) 2.

2011-01-17T16:30:00.000-08:00

^ that made me laugh.

. my brain is in over load today, can barley keep up

. i just sewed an old sweater back up and added a new look to it with big brown buttons.
its good as new again!

. i accidentally stole a pair of earrings....from a thrift shop. so many good wrongs.

. my car is so mad that i've been driving it everywhere latley

. my brothers feet smell so bad, that i am mad at him.

. twice this week i've been called 'wacky' and i take it as a compliment

. i really love hoopties and beards

. i made a cool beaded necklace

. Pasty Cline forever makes me think of times at my dads. He would cook and have her on
in the background.

. I'm really drifting away from long island

. If a turtle looses it's shell is it homeless or naked?! o_O

. i do just about everything in my car, from watching movies to putting on deorderant.

. i miss how chilling is, in CT.
.

three strikes and you're....

2011-01-17T09:09:00.000-08:00

out of line

out of sight

out of mind

+

things-

2011-01-13T11:03:00.000-08:00

I hate when I go to the pantry, to the refrigerator and then back to the pantry and act like something is going to better then the last time i was just there...

the music i start to clean my room with is always the total opposite at the ending time of room cleaned.

i think in words.

if your a passenger and i like you, i'll most likely play the baseline of the song on your legs.

i get happy legs when i'm happy.

my best friend and i have the most mind blowing conversations up and down 110.
i will most likely call you at random points, pick you up and make you ride for a drive...

i have absolutely no sense of direction and just shoot and pray for the best

i'm slightly in love with my Turkish gas station attendant.

which is odd because i always feel like a gas station murder would be so amazing and cant
believe is hasn't happened yet (?) that i kinda freak out because thats the thought i get EVERYTIME
at a gas station that i lock my doors keep the window open a crack and push in my car lighter.

i still hate the process of putting sheets on the bed.

as mush as i love words, i dont read as much as you'd think.

i have a hard time understanding how "LOL" and things like "Snooki' are real life things.

i answer my phone "HUH-LOW?!" many will think i'm pissed.

i don't know how to not whip my car around turns, it's almost impossible.

basic ma(+)h.

2011-01-07T23:41:00.000-08:00

What are you going to do?

for ALL.

+

moonities.

2011-01-07T15:57:00.000-08:00

the snow alone gave more than what i could have said.
your mess, covered the town.
you've been bitter and cold
change;
in the weather, in you.
rise up.
understand that when you take my sunlight-
i have an affair with the moon.
you spoke too soon.
+

dated.

2011-01-06T10:19:00.000-08:00

i've been slacking, more than aware.
i've been busy uploading my new ipod touch :: ohhh's ahhhh's ::
and if you know me - i've been over due!

i'm also in the middle of making a beaded necklace...stay tuned.

i've been dabbling into many goodies.
will get back into the blog flow again......soon?

tah-tah, for now.

+

"what would you do with it?!"

2010-12-30T07:44:00.000-08:00

i made a chunk of money over the holidays.
i promised myself to use and spend it wisely.
With my job closing in a few weeks, i gotta be somewhat responsible.
And i will be. Tattoos and travel and good times is responsible right?
haha -

+ I set an appointment up to get a really meaningful tattoo
it won't be till sometime in February.

+ Now that my job is ending, I want to take advantage in traveling, so money aside for that.

+ New Years(?) i put money towards it but i dont do new years. a lot of 'choosen words'
will have to be good to get me out. We'll see. Although i am more willing to do something this year.

+ Money for a dayum Ipod. My mother got one before me and i desperately need one.

is it...

2010-12-27T22:24:00.000-08:00

"Thata boy" or "Atta boy" [?]

tooday was not real.

2010-12-27T21:54:00.000-08:00

old and new woken too-
p's and q's and fuck you's
ditched and scooped-
realizing someone taking intrest
and someone not intrested.
scrambled eggs and i'm not talking the breakfast food.

snowed in family divided by days
feversleeves trips to the movies
next online to realize the obnoxious not stoned
brats would be in the same room and we yelled
fuck it and left to hit off alarms and ask for something
good to happen and the radio says right from the start
PEOPLE ARE STRANGE WHEN YOU'RE---

i realized the best molecular feeling is when you're baggy sweats
fall down your calf when you are laying on you're stomach and playing
with someone elses christmas gift: THE SIMS who had a beard
and your tube socks are there to cover the cold winter's storm.

+
fucking little things....they get on you.

and then i was thought of when someone saw this:

and i was honored.

to someone else thinking my "my taste for space" was like this:

and I misread it and thought it was my hip hop wanted so i said i'm more like........:

.....and whats wild is this is only one day.

For one reason or another+

2010-12-27T10:49:00.000-08:00

It's unfortunate that when we feel a stone

We can roll ourselves over 'cause we're uncomfortable
Oh well, the devil makes us sin
But we like it when we're spinning in his grip

Love is like a sin, my love,
For the ones that feel it the most
Look at her with her eyes like a flame
She will love you like a fly will never love you again

It's unfortunate that when we feel a stone
We can roll ourselves over when we're uncomfortable
Oh well, the devil makes us sin
But we like it when we're spinning in his grip

Love is like a sin, my love,
For the one that feels it the most
Look at her with a smile like a flame
She will love you like a fly will never love you again

+

snow.

2010-12-26T20:25:00.000-08:00

Kristofferson asked me to make it snow.
I wizard shook my fingers out the window.
Guilty as charged.

+

I spent the snow day in long johns, and a messy bun.
Played Scrabble and Scatogories with the fambam that stayed over from Christmas.
Watched The Office, Toy Story 2 and Fantastic Mr. Fox.
Threw a few Heineken's back, straight low key chillen.
I did not play in the snow, hometown is whack like that.
I dont get it.

no one ever is just.....

2010-12-26T11:31:00.001-08:00

down.

38 24 thirty sevennnnnnnnnnn+

2010-12-22T20:09:00.000-08:00

Some flyguy came up to my register and dropped my government: Bonita Appleb(a)um
then said........."YOU GOTTA PUT ME ON!"

So here it is +

Moedog.

2010-12-19T23:59:00.000-08:00

It's 10 AM Sunday Morning and my dad call me, but i missed the call. He left this voice mail:

"Roria, what are you doing? cant be in bed come on. Yeah, I wanna check in with ya..wnated to see if theres a remote...remote chance if i was going to see you over the Christmas break. Yes, i'd like to see you Roria, its the first time i put up a christmas tree in 17 years because I saw you for a moment...a moment. And i know you said you wanted to come up in the during daylight and i think the week i am off for christmas theres gonna be some daylight!...tag! love ya."

My dad always leaves good and playful voice mails.

+

too furs.

2010-12-19T23:39:00.000-08:00

I decided I wanted something to eat so took myself into town. Inhancer Involved. haha.
For some reason I parked pretty far from my destination, which I normally do, do. But this time,
in my head I didn't want to park that far...just because i'm obsessed with my new Blue Ridge Mountain coat doesn't mean the cold wont get me...i need to stop. So i pulled into this lot and rolled up on some guy peeing on a dumpster. Fine. Just one of those, lookin' at me, lookin' at you type of things. We get them. I get out, take a walk to figure out what i want to eat. Sucker for the guac. Mexican, i did it. On my way there a see "Chubby Hubby Undies" Specializing in SEXY undies for LARGE MEN sizes (1x - 6x) in COLORS AND PRINTS. (lknasgsdhghrueioghrqeungkjerqgvbiuqgtfoi43wj5) i had to check myself twice. Nope, you're right....it does say that. Huntington is a strange place on a Sunday.

When i got home i made a call to my friend Kat. Kat's at a pre family Christmas party or something...i call like a jerk aways. "What's up" with the tone of.....''what the shit now?" and thats when i realized i totally ALWAYS call her with the MOST FUCKED wildest and bizzarest stories and situations. ANd the fact i called her for something of the sort, knowingly she was at a family party reallllly makes me laugh. Then I thought more about it and realized....SHE, on the other hand totally throws these dodgers at me as well, and hers being on the more, thought out dilemmas, that really stress you to think. It's actually really funny. We pretty much are two peas in a pod.

she's lump, she's lump...she might be dead!

2010-12-19T23:24:00.000-08:00

The first song/music video i ever downloaded was "Lump" by Presidents of the United States.
Bonkers, i know. I remember only because it was also the same day my step dad brought home our first computer ever, a Packard Bell. So slow it hurt. I remember being so excited and amazed that i finally had one and "Lump" was my current favorite song. My mom and brother watched it with me. Just a funny little haha for ya'll.

puckin phish!

2010-12-17T12:21:00.000-08:00

Don't want to be an actor pretending on the stage

Don't want to be a writer with my thoughts out on the page
Don't want to be a painter 'cause everyone comes to look
Don't want to be anything where my life's an open book

A dream it's true
But I'd see it through
If I could be
Wasting my time with you

Don't want to be a farmer working in the sun
Don't want to be an outlaw always on the run
Don't want to be a climber reaching for the top
Don't want to be anything where I don't know when to stop

A dream it's true
But I'd see it through
If I could be
Wasting my time with you

So if I'm inside your head
Don't believe what you might have read
You'll see what I might have said
To hear it

Come waste your time with me
Come waste your time with me

So if I'm inside your head
Don't believe what you might have read
You'll see what I might have said
To hear it

Come waste your time with me
Come waste your time with me
Come waste your time with me
Come waste your time with me
.
.
.
.
Come waste your time with me.

+ i just dig this, the most.

zodiacally speaking-

2010-12-16T20:33:00.000-08:00

i want your hectic energetic ways
- the combination of air and fire
i want you're new tricks, as i desire.
physical and intellectual level,
only to dissemble-
it's our fast pace with a quick of wit,
a favorable fit.
inventive and innovative
frustration and fulfillment
providing exhilarating excitement
Doubled down and keeping up-
good and evil,
male and female
Ruled by Mars,
bring me to my homeland, the moon.
Lets die with the sun.
+

midnight am.

2010-12-14T22:24:00.000-08:00

i'm sitting here ever so content with a play list of the following:

+ Phish
+ Band of Horses
+ The Shins
+ The Hollies
+ The Allmen Brothers
+ Thievery Corporation
+ The Delays

and there nothing more i want to be doing than just sitting here and listening.

beats beats beats!

2010-12-13T19:13:00.000-08:00

i'm all up on Flying Lotus...that space feel!

electric blue dreams-

2010-12-13T11:55:00.000-08:00

digital duo.

2010-12-13T11:08:00.000-08:00

you have an internet personality.
Screen for a face- keys for hands, that don't open doors.
nothing but a space bar between us.
to turn me on is to turn you off.
i'm typing every message that you'll never receive.
re-seed.
return to sender.
with every letter, you see in between
Shift.
your battery life running low.
Enter again at a later date.
+

w(h)ine for breakfast-

2010-12-13T08:38:00.000-08:00

Brian was in redemption mode for another tale for another day...
Friday, we tried...i failed, he failed. Saturday, failed and failed.
Sunday morning at 11:00 "Goodbye horses" blarring all up in my sleeping ears
to an unknown number. Pick up the phone, Brian as my wake up call.
He had called with promising plans, but didn't share.
So with that as the theme, I headed to the other side of the island....in the Apocalypse.
Lately, i don't stand a chance with my Aries side- it speaks for me, and keeps making
me doing everything without a second to think. No complaints, it's super fun- others are the real issue.
So i drove and drove and drove and watched buildings turn into barns and front yards turn into acres
got kind of lost because it's natural. About a little over an hour I made it to Brain's.
He get's in and hits me with, "We are going to the winery out here!"
.....it was still technically morning. I haven't been drinking much lately and didn't even eat at all this
morning...but as an Aries i said "I am down for the cause!"
Brian had a friend working there.
At first we were joined by a man and maybe wife...tasting...chatting...looking classy.
They didn't say long. By then we had the place to ourselves.
With a play list of Band of horses and The Shins anndddd Neil Young and others
we drank our reds and whites. Stayed for quite a few hours, it was chill. The we went to Tom and Andy's house. Threw back some beers and I.......beat them in Mario Kart! That is my game, I will run your pockets for sure. Ok Tom was close, he did beat me once and always stoled Second....Brian is better at the music selecting. I think i'll keep him there. I still haven't eaten. Endless hours pass and we are still hanging, watching music videos, fucked up ones...again Brian is good for these. Singing, dancing, good times. It's well over 8 hours of Brian and I doing shit like this. We laughed at how long, it also seems to be our thing when we raley get together...actually every time we hangout its always a wild time from festivles to hangouts. It's cool.
We finally go to eat - The Eblow room. Brian is the worst co-pilot to sit in my passenger seat, but seat belt air guitar he makes up for it. Before I head back to my land, we pull off the road and sit by the Ticonic Bay...Brian is also good for random spots, he acts like he's not, but he is. Grizzlybear and the kills and she & him accompany us. With a little over a 10 hour hang out- I set home. It was a cool day.

Redemption made well. +

. Brian and everyone that's get riddin' in my car find my science goggles .

mmm jackwhite.

2010-12-13T08:01:00.000-08:00

Jack can SHRED!
one of my favorites.....oh yee, the song too ;).

distance blows...

2010-12-11T20:58:00.000-08:00

My facebook status read: "i've grown so tired of you, Long Island."

Lisa- nauseatingly bored......you too? i saw your status lol

Me- hahahaha yes! nothing makes me wanna go out and do something.

Lisa- this area so lameeeeee

Me- mannn i really wish we lived closer.

Lisa- goddamnit i know even if it was like just an hour but its a fuckin hike

Me- i know :(

Lisa- because theres people i could call right now but i dont wanna deal with the bullshit, if you lived closer we'd be hangin right now

Me - hahaha, excatly! to the point id rather be alone then do all that bullshit.

Lisa- exactly, and you know my pathetic options over here....it's not right

Me- where excatly are you?

Lisa- I feel like shit should be more enlightening and exciting at this age....hanna and joeys alone (which is better than with them hah well hanna at least)

Lisa- if we met somewhere halfway what kinda time are we looking at...

Me - umummmm im trying to think what excatly the 'middle' is

Me- would that bring us to white plains?

Lisa- probably right around there

Me -could it really be 45 mins?

Lisa - that sounds like half to me...do you know anything in that area, just a shitty dinner im chill with.

* so we did our calculations and realized that time wasn't on our side for our stupid sunday work shifts, money was not really but really an issue anddd we'd waste more time driving towards each other than with each other....sadly we passed it up. BUT, did intend to make it happen at a later date. *

Lisa- yeah little ridiculous, we'll plan this out better and not do it on a bitter-bender hah
if the drive was with you like roadtrip status AWESOMe but to sit in the car by myself id rather spend more time with you...dude such lesbos....

REASON NUMBER 345348590438593846834768956 I LOVE LISA ROGERS.

Let your family take you back to your original mind-

2010-12-10T21:02:00.000-08:00

With ten years of another part of my life missing and four years being the last time i've seen my father, One day was all it took.

I last saw my dad when i had to undergo a surgery - heavily sedated i made it a point to remember your denim jacket. Other than that day, it would have taken us back to double digits.

December 4th 2010 was a new day stepping back into my (g)olden days. I finally did what has been pent up for years. I went home. Home to a place where I know exactly who i am with a wiser verson of myself. I haven't seen it in over 10 years. Once started as a Log cabin of one bedroom, has now gained height and width. Built with a soul and dream, the site of it brought me to an instant trip of joy and overwhelm-ness.

I can't believe how beautiful the house has come along. I pictured what it would be like to celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas there. With the fireplace lit, snow covering the cabin. There was so much to look at, but all everything showed me a reminder of just how much time had really passed.

It was as if I was able to look back at certain places and see myself in a younger virison. I can remember grading papers with you, the more i helped, the faster you'd come and play. My farther is a Science teacher, with tons of red marked papers. I can remember swimming in the ponds to cool off on hot summer days and the phrase "while most girls put cat's in their bicycle baskets, there's Roria...catching her frogs and putting them in her cannone". I can remember to check for ticks. I can remember the leather hand stitched pillow I used to hate but learned to love. I can remember making you always be the Shoe in monopoly and giving myself the Dog. I remember finishing my plate because "We don't waste in the country" even if my tiny tummy was full. I can remember trips to the post office and breakfast at Blondie's and if i was really good...ice cream at Holy Cow. I can remember going to drive - inn movies and falling asleep each of the 3 times during Free Willie. I can remember being embarrassed every time we went to Grand Union because you would sing all funny in between the isles. I can remember sleeping on the wooden floor and watching the popping of the lit fire. I can remember learning to drive the Jimmy, Bronco and pick up truck. I can remember failing Uncle Richie's quad road test the first time. I can remember when i earned the title "Mountain Woman." I can remember going back home to moms house being filthy. I can remember when I had a tick stuck in my head. I can remember when you wanted "downtime" which ment it was time for a nap. I can remember shaving your head and drawing a smiley face on top....out of mustard. I can remember falling through the ice. I can remember pulling down trees for fire wood. I can remember after dinner it was always "The kitchen is closed" I can remember rolling down the hills in the construction tubes. I can remember going hiking and hunting. I can remember "Indian Jodie" braiding my hair in grass. Some of my favorite childhood memories have been made on the lands of my fathers. But things happen, and so did the years.

I've made and chosen to set aside what is it that happened. From here on out I am working to patch things up. I've missed that life, and oddly enough where i've been has strangely always matched up. There is still so much i need to discover about myself and understand. Through my father i am finding such. I have never been so in tune with myself than this year. And now i can finally get answerer's to all that i have been wondering about. I am happy with my moves made but I know things wont unfold in the matter of days. This is something that will have to basically be reborn, reintroduced....from both parties. I am up against a lot but am for it. As cliche as it sounds...."the time is now."

+

Mr. Mojo Risin'

2010-12-08T17:04:00.000-08:00

"Do you know the warm progress under the stars?

Do you know we exist?

Have you forgotten the keys to the kingdom?

Have you been born yet

& are you alive?"

A vast radiant beach and a cool jewelled moon.

Couples naked race down by its quiet side

And we laugh like soft mad children,

Smug in the wooly cotton brains of infancy.

The music and voices are all around us.

Choose, they croon the ancient ones

The time has come again

Choose now, they croon beneath the moon

Beside an ancient lake

Enter again the sweet forest

Enter the hot dream, come with us.

Everything is broken up and dances

CELEBRATION OF THE LIZARD-

2010-12-08T14:47:00.000-08:00

Today is James Douglas Morrison's Birthday, and what better way to celebrate than seeing the best Doors Tribute Band..."The Soft Parade" at BB Kings lastnight with my childhood best friend Lisa and my present best friend Kat! First time they had ever met. Katja- Lisa's oldest sister even came too! :) It was a good show...tunes were great...vibe was chill - you simply couldn't have a bad time. My life has been real good lately, packed with so much emotion and many many good things. I am behind on my blog entries but you'll soon understand when I say.....my worlds are colliding. Anyway, pour out or light a fucking joint for the LIZARD KING!

. Steel Reserve! .

. Myself & Kat .

. Two Ledgens .

. Guitars .

. The Soft Parade! .

. Wish it was tha real deal .

. Lisa Noreen Rogers! .

. What should have been Ray Manzarek .

. The Soft Parade with special guest Gene Cornish from The Rascals! .

. City rides .

. This girl right here, forever a friend .

. Lisa and I .

harvest moon-

2010-12-01T19:18:00.000-08:00

and this too-

Send me on a whirlwind of emotion.

Everytime.

The Orion Correlation Theory

2010-12-01T14:01:00.001-08:00

“The Orion Correlation Theory is a hypothesis in pyramidology. Its central claim is that there is a correlation between the location of the 3 largest pyramids of the Giza pyramid complex and the three middle stars of the constellation Orion, and that this correlation was intended as such by the builders of the pyramids. The stars of Orion were associated with Osiris, the sun-god of rebirth and afterlife, by the ancient Egyptians. Depending on the version of the theory, additional pyramids can be included to complete the picture of the Orion constellation, and the Nile river can be included to match with the Milky Way galaxy..”

+

these always seem like a good idea-

2010-11-30T23:02:00.000-08:00

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. last beverage: bluepoint blue beery beer.
2. last phone call: Mom.
3. last text message: chandra.
4. last song you listened to: i forget but i know Bone thugs came on.....
5. last time you cried: really don't know.
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice = kinda sort of?
7. been cheated on = maybe.
8. kissed someone & regretted it = Nah.
9. lost someone special = yes.
10. been depressed = lindsay lohan's is jail...we're bored.
11. been drunk and threw up = 4loko is battery acid.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. forest green
13. Black
14. mustard yellow.

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)
15. Made a new friend?: sure.
16. Fallen out of love?: clean itup.
17. Laughed until you cried? oh for sure.
18. Met someone who changed you?: i'll give you that.
19. Found out who your true friends were?: ok.
20. Found out someone was talking about you?: don't we all?
21. Kissed anyone on your fb friend's list ?: oh come on.

GENERAL:
22. How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life: surprising a lot, but that doesnt mean i'll keep ya!
24. Do you have any pets: i always used to say Andrew.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Legos and jim morrison books!
27. What time did you wake up today: double digits.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: reading with a candle!
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: kat and i to finally follow through with our ideas haha
30. Last time you saw your Mother: few hours ago.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: the time to which i was born in.
32. What are you listening to right now: nothing. and thats super odd.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: peeping.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: right now i'm mellow as shit.
35. Most visited webpage: google.
37. Nicknames: petrone. roria. fee fee. and for the rog(d)ers: big titiouous.
38. Relationship Status: Single.
39. Zodiac Sign: aries.
40. He or She?: She
41. Elementary? like 5 too many to name.
42. Middle School? all partsof ny and ct.
43. High School? everyschool from ny to ct.
44. Hair Color? Original? red brown black in one.
45. Long or short? long!
46. Height? size nook.
47. Do you have a crush on someone? mike rowe dirty jobs.
48: What do you like about yourself? i laugh at my own laugh.
49. Piercings? done to one.
50. Tattoos? 4
51. Righty or lefty? Righty but barley.
52. First surgery = problem child.
53. First piercing = ears.
54. First best friend = daisy?
55. First sport you joined = the couch. never in my life did i play a sport.
58. First pair of trainers = if by that you mean bra, yeah i had to skip that trend.

RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating - Nothing.
60. Drinking - Nothing.
61. I'm about to – relax.
62. Listening to – noth.
63. Waiting for – the sun.
64. Want kids?- i'll cross that bridge when i get there.
65. Get Married? - again above.
66. Career? "high tech low life" - george carlin. rip.
WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes? = beards.
68. Hugs or kisses = remote.
69. Shorter or taller = thicker.
70. Older or Younger = the young is fucked.
71. Romantic or spontaneous = spontaneous.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = wild hair.
73. Sensitive or loud = mental.
74. Hook-up or relationship = borrowed.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = house broken.
HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger = one and only mission.
77. Drank hard liquor = cought.
78. Lost glasses/contacts = my glasses are always lost so they are never worn.
79. Sex on first date = no mam'.
80. Broken someone's heart = perhaps.
81. Had your own heart broken = i;m sure.
83. Turned someone down = eek.
84. Cried when someone died = i did.
85. Fallen for a friend = thats a different business that im stockin in.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself = on good hair days.
87. Miracles = change purse.
88. Love at first sight = i'll give you two guess's first one doesnt count.
89. Heaven = in my burrito.
90. Santa Claus = sannnnn deeee claws?!
91. Kiss on the first date= You'll have to work.
92. Angels = LSD.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
93. Had more than one bf/gf at once? the fact thats a real statement is so sad. come on world.
94. Is there one person you want to be with right now? i haven't gotten one.
95. Did you sing today? yes!
96. Ever cheated on somebody? Not my scene.
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? i dont know actaully.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? i dont remember last year.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? thats a huge thing.
100. Posting this as 100 truths? no.

train of thought-

2010-11-30T10:04:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had this huge, out of body experience when I literally saw the world outside of it's self for a spilt second. Enough to latch on to ONE of the many things that flashed before my eyes. I can't really explain it- because it's a day later. All I can say was the way i normally think, or would have thought was changed. And everything that was spoken about within the same day, week, moment and what not...all came together. Like a true mad woman, i ran to my room and got my red journal. A book of the most RANDOM of words, phrases and doodles. I get these moments a lot but this.....was profound. It began from the bowl of NOOR food. (middle eastern foods) I had gotten it the night before. A collection of meats: Spicy chicken and lamb covered in a white sauce, over rice and a salad. It was bomb. With too much to eat, i saved it and brought it home. The next day was lunch time and i figured i'd eat it. "We don't waste in the country" is a phrase FOREVER implanted in my brain from my dad. But back on track....so i go to eat this meal and it's just not going well as it did the other night. I start to panic because it's NOW that i am having this huge revelation in my kitchen. I just remember hating how this food tasted and how the texture of it, really bothered me. Which then brought me back to as of lately i've been having this hard time eating meats. And let me just first state, I LOVE a fat juicy stake, medium rare to rare. But as of 4 months ago, some meals have been giving me a panic attack. I've never had this before, stupid i'm aware. If i begin to feel the texture, and/or think about the meat itself...I bug out. To the point, i love lobster but 3 years back I remember clear as day my mom making lobster for Christmas dinner and when she placed it on my plate I began to...basically disetc it like a science project and it just bugged me out....full blown panic attack at the table. and since then, i haven't eaten it. Even a scene from a David Lynch movie called "Earserhead" popped into my head. In this fucked up of a movie, cooked baby chicken is being served for dinner, but it still moves and bleeds and gets eaten....BUT TO GET BACK TO THE MAIN FOCUS....so it's been really bothering me. Now, rewind back into this crazy revelation and further before that day.....Takes you well, me back to my vacation where i met this older lady and her daughter. Her daughter a vegetarian. The mother...well here's her story. I randomly found myself talking to this lady and her daughter... the mother asked me how i liked the food on the ship...spoke my piece, not even knowing what i really did think just rambled to end it. I somehow reversed the question and thats when it it home. She had began to tell me how it was hard. Hard for her daughter and hard for her to eat. Being it was in fact Thanksgiving and her daughter was a vegetarian, got it....hard. She, on the other hand shared a story that was wild. She was one day baking cookies with her daughter, when it was time to eat them, she had spit the cookie back into a napkin. She had thought her daughter went a little too crazy with the sugar/salt. Not the case. What had really happened is some freak thing. She had completely lost all the sense in her taste buds. Also gained the act of acid reflex. I felt really guilty, in the sense of how I was almost subconsciously selfish in what i ate. Which made me think of meats and animals. She shared that if she were too eat certain things, she would be sick for weeks. She pressed on how it's awful and now can't enjoy some of her most favorites of foods. It hit home for me, but only in the moment. Now, we channel back into my kitchen...with that story weighing down my mind, the unannounced meat attacks, and the idea of generally being more healthy which has too been a reoccurring thing...I realized maybe it's my time to give up meat. Sure, a little bit goes out for the 'animal sake' but i have got to be honest, i'm not one of those. Too many little moments that made me check myself finally added up. I do overall want to become more healthy. I ended up throwing away the food, and breaking dad's rules. (ha) I spent the rest of day meat free. I hope I can carry this out. By no means am i an overnight vegetarian, I think if I void out such...it will get me to the image i have in my head. Which is another train of thought but wayyyyyy to detailed to even visit again. But this is what happens, i carry this out until the next big the to have all my focus. Stay tuned.

What i'm working on:
+ Eating better
+ Daily Meditation
+ Use of candles
( by the way, claps for me. Lastnight i regained the use of being able to have an open flame in my room.
It was taken away when i lit the side of our house on fire, and also when my towel on my head went up in flames.)
+ Reading and FINISHING one book at a time.
+ Studying images daily so they reflect my life.

(marsh)mellow-out mondays.

2010-11-29T10:00:00.000-08:00

thanksgiving.

2010-11-28T22:12:00.000-08:00

I had a wonderful time Cruisen to the Bahama islands for a week. My entire family got together for thanksgiving, It's not often we see each other. My Aunt, Uncle and cousin flew in from Wisconsin, haven't seen them in easily 4 years. I haven't been on a cruise in about 3 years, they are fun. Lots to do. I gambled and actually won! I played wheel of fortune and hit $1000. It was a great time to be with all of my family.

soft wild promises.

2010-11-28T20:01:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna be honest and say i did cry to this, out of purest form.

"Why does my mind circle around you
Why do planets wonder what it
Would be like to be you.

All your soft wild promises were words
Birds, endlessly in flight
Birds, endlessly in flight

Your dog is still lost in the frozen woods
or he would run to you
How can he run to you
Lunging with blooded sickness on the snow
He’s still sniffing gates & searching
Strangers for your smell
which he remembers very well

Is there a moon in your window
Is madness laughing
Can you still run down beach
rocks bed below without him?

Tell them you came and saw and looked into my eyes,
Thoughts in time and out of season
calm calculus of reason."

27

2010-11-28T19:16:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Jimi Hendrix

November 27, 1942

" you're just like crosstown traffic....."

it's not goodbye, it's see you later!

2010-11-19T13:46:00.000-08:00

took a smoke break from packing and it look's like this:

readers from:

2010-11-17T14:05:00.000-08:00

United States 2,505

Canada 44
Russia 40
Brazil 30
Ukraine 29
Netherlands 25
Latvia 18
South Korea 17
Ireland 16
Finland 14
Japan 22
wild, thank you all :)

of all time.

2010-11-15T08:24:00.000-08:00

+ Fleet Foxes
+ Built to spill
+ The Smiths
+ The Doors
+ Bob Dylan
+ Modest Mouse
+ The Strokes
+ Sonic Youth
+ Animal Collective
+ The Shins
+ Jimi Hendrix
+ Grateful Dead

is what i need in another.

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

2010-11-13T21:19:00.000-08:00

I have a terrible habit of starting things and never ever finishing them.
I start and then i easily think of something else and begin that.
i have over 4 sketch books that showcase this habit, pages of unfinished arts,
thoughts, writings. It's become an expensive habit as well too, if i do add.
I think it's because I:
a.) Have the worst ADD
b.) Get bored often
c.) My brain is always thinking of something else to think of. (?!)
4.) im an Aries, we are restless and always trying to do something!
However, I am working on it.
* i just wrote 4 instead of d....see what the fuck I mean.*
i'm always there but never really fully there with ANYTHING i do.
its terribly awesome.

King without a crown.

2010-11-11T07:30:00.000-08:00

You're all that I have and you're all that I need

Each and every day I pray to get to know your peace
I want to be close to you, yes I'm so hungry
You're like water for my soul when it gets thirsty
Without you there's no me
You're the air that I breathe
Sometimes the world is dark and I just can't see
With these, demons surround all around to bring me down to negativity
But I believe, yes I believe, I said I believe
I'll stand on my own two feet
Won't be brought down on one knee
Fight with all of my might and get these demons to flee
Hashem's rays fire blaze burn bright and I believe
Hashem's rays fire blaze burn bright and I believe
Out of darkness comes light, twilight unto the heights
Crown Heights burnin' up all through till twilight
Said thank you to my God, now I finally got it right
And I'll fight with all of my heart, and all a' my soul, and all a' my might

What's this feeling?
My love will rip a hole in the ceiling
I give myself to you from the essence of my being and I
Sing to my god, songs of love and healing
I want Moshiach now, time we start revealing
What's this feeling?
My love will rip a hole in the ceiling
I give myself to you from the essence of my being and I
Sing to my god, songs of love and healing
I want Moshiach now

Me no want no Sinsemilla, that would only bring me down

Burn away my brain, no way, my brain is too compound
Elevated my soul, you're a flying my sound
Like the sun of a sun ray burning up through a cloud
Say, Torah food for my brain, let it rain till I drown
Thunder, let the blessings come down
Say, Torah food for my brain, let it rain till I drown

Strippin’ away the layers and reveal your soul
Got to give yourself up and then you become whole
You're a slave to yourself and you don't even know
You want to live the fast life but your brain moves slow
If you're trying to stay high, bound to stay low
You want God but you can't deflate your ego

If you're already there then there's nowhere to go
If you're cup's already full then its bound to overflow
If you're drowning in the water's and you can't stay afloat

Ask Hashem for mercy, and he'll throw you a rope
You're looking for help from God you say he couldn't be found
Searching up to the sky and looking beneath the ground
Like a King without his Crown
You keep fallin' down
You really want to like but can't get rid of your frown
Tried to reach unto the heights and wound bound down on the ground
Given up your pride and then you heard a sound
Out of night comes day and out of day comes light
Nullified to the One like sunlight in a ray,
Makin' room for his love and a fire gone blaze
Makin' room for his love and a fire gone blaze

What's this feeling?
My love will rip a hole in the ceiling
I give myself to you from the essence of my being and I
Sing to my god, songs of love and healing
I want Moshiach now, time we start revealing
What's this feeling?
My love will rip a whole in the ceiling
I give myself to you from the essence of my being and I
Sing to my god, songs of love and healing
I want Moshiach now

See I lift up my eyes where my help come from
And I seen it circling around from the mountain
Thunder!
You feel it in your chest
You keep my mind at ease and my soul at rest
You're not vexed
Look to the sky where my help come from
Seen it circling around from the mountain
Thunder!
You feel it in your chest
You keep my mind at ease and my soul at rest
You're not vexed

+

black medic.

2010-11-10T20:46:00.000-08:00

I, only knew of the known secret.
the dirt under my fingernails would have given me in.
I have questions that I'm afraid your tongue can't answer.
he exhaled slow-
the second hand air, danced across the skin of my cheek.
i have your eyes and your smile,
but i don't have your back.
+

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

2010-11-10T20:30:00.000-08:00

I know it's three photos, but these are a few of my favorite pictures of 3 summers ago.

"SALSA SALSA, YOU IN?!"

2010-11-10T19:58:00.000-08:00

Today was one of my days off, so I spent my day out in Port Jeff.
I'm really having a hard time giving into the colder days, I desperately don't want the winter to come.
I've been packing all my last minute 'warm weather activites' in like a mother.
Chandra lives out in the Port Jeff area and has been begging for some adventures and to take me
under the "Salsa Salsa wing." And you don't know?! Salsa Salsa is what i can officially say a bomb ass Mexican food joint! Almost everyday Chandra get's her fix, sometimes even two times a day and then comes to work and boasts about just how good. "Petrone, theres a WALL OF GUAC in the burrito!" Those were the defining moments that made me know, I need to try it. Over the summer Jaime had just recently moved me onto "Ay Caramba" Mexican food down in Long Beach - that was a banging jump off and out beat my Moe's Mexican Grill fix...by the way i'm a chunkina if you haven't caught on by the first 5 sentences of this post. So with Moe's beat, and Ay Caramba in the lead with best burrito, it was now time to check out Salsa Salsa. Chandra has ALWAYS done well by me with her tastes in food, and she's a vegetarian and still knows how to hook her porker friend up! So, I made the call, she without a doubt was down for the cause and with a freshly rolled joint we giggled our once empty tummies down for good eats! On another level of, "fucking supreme" was what I replied after sinking my teeth in...Chandra in her glory. The lady behind the counter requested I try the 'homemade sauce' and fuck, you got me....spices and guacamole and i am there! So amazing. So we ate, sat in the window, people watched and rolled out the door. Stuffed to the max, we walked it off and strolled the town of Port Jeff. I got myself these super fun earrings. It was a good day. :)

. new fun new fun! .

today's doors song of choice and reason:

2010-11-09T09:44:00.000-08:00

I will never be untrue

Do anything you would want me to
Never stay out drinking
no later than two
(two thirty...)
I will never treat you mean
and I won't cause no kind of scene
Tell you all the people
all the places I have been
I will always treat you kind
try to give you peace of mind
Only you tell me that you love me
one more time
Now darling
please don't be sad
Don't run off like that
when you get mad
Cause if you do
you gonna lose
the best friend
that you ever had
That's no lie...
I will never be untrue
Do everything you want me to do
Bring all my loving all my money
bring it all home to you
I never be untrue

+

measure twice, cut once.

2010-11-09T08:50:00.000-08:00

how do you measure worth?
i'm finding it extremely hard to do such.
value, trust, and honesty is what i'm weighing
you all come with so much baggage
that i can't decipher who will dance or hang it up.

:(
+ i've been stuck in my head this whole month.
i need the 20th to come already. family and islands.

place thoughts?

mr. and mrs. big head. (rml)

2010-11-09T08:12:00.000-08:00

i will not reduce my stance to satisfy your ego's hunger.

learning fact (?)

2010-11-08T20:30:00.000-08:00

people i don't ever see or speak to every day know me
better or take an intrest more than people i see and speak to everday.

yeeeeeeeeeeeah ?

+

2 lumps of sugar.

2010-11-08T20:25:00.000-08:00

fits of forgiveness for every bitch and bastard-
your all common denominators.
awake with the same damn smile
fix yourself,
it's tiring and rude.
your ways, we don't care about the death or the triumph.
my name is victoria and i've forgotten logic and how to tell time.

wild, is in the winter winds.

2010-11-08T20:10:00.000-08:00

we used to wait for it.
the magnetic moon, never seemed so dull.
we were raised by wolves,
and we are still wild.
you go so far.
+

i'm giving dub step again shot.

2010-11-08T08:33:00.000-08:00

reminds me of the rain drops that fall all morning.
chill. calm. light. mellow. beats.

Day 01: A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.

2010-11-07T15:43:00.000-08:00

+ one: i've have never done any other drugs besides smoking weed.

+ two: i live through words, phrases and lyrics.

+ three: i don't view the world or situations like most people do.

+ four: i literally am not able to think or see in the future, or know what i want.

+ five: my brain thinks in the form of science and never stops.

+ six: i'm effected with the way of the world and refuse to watch the news or read the paper.

+ seven: it's hard being the replica of my own father yet never really knowing him, nor liking him. but do?

+ eight: i'm not as complex as i seem.

+ nine: i sometimes feel i can live a life by myself.

+ ten: i truly was born in the wrong era.

30 day blogs:

2010-11-07T14:55:00.000-08:00

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr name

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Who are you?

basic math.

2010-11-07T14:49:00.000-08:00

november blues.

2010-11-04T21:05:00.000-07:00

i haven't met you yet
but last winter you kept me warm
it's the hot stained cigarette breath of yours that lingers on my lips
i'm not looking forward to
when you leave; so does, the warmth.
+

love and

2010-11-04T20:50:00.000-07:00

YOU

EYE

TEA

WHY

trip into trance with me

2010-11-04T13:33:00.000-07:00

"Out here in the perimeter there are no stars. Out here we IS stoned immaculate."

DUB STEP JIM MORRISON and i don't hate it.

Well I woke up this morning got the crossroad on my mind....

2010-11-04T12:58:00.000-07:00

"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would

appear to man as it is, infinite."

- William Blake // Aldous Huxley

i'm at a crossroad in my life, awaiting the other side. i just don't know how but it's right here.

Halloween!

2010-11-03T19:33:00.000-07:00

. a pin gal and Coolio! .

. Pin up Gals! .

. Oh dexter! .

. And another Pin up! .

. Adam & Alyssa .

. Coolio and me! .

. Kat as a sugar skull, Terrie as a zombie and myself as a gypsy! .

good lookin kids are this:

2010-11-03T19:17:00.000-07:00

photobooth at starbucks staring mike d.

bobby d.

2010-11-03T11:41:00.000-07:00

+ Another classic.
Based on the story of Rubin "Hurricane" Carter, a boxer wrongly imprisoned for murder.
I have never seen the real movie, but tonight that becomes a false statement.
I'm sick in bed and that is my plan for the night :)

"...Couldn't help but make me feel ashamed to live in a land, Where justice is a game."

crazy bitch,

2010-11-01T22:10:00.000-07:00

i am.
i've been.
i was.
i'm done.

Halloween Hell at my job is over for the most part. You people are beasts.

city.art.birthdays.nature.

2010-10-28T20:44:00.000-07:00

brisk breaks.

2010-10-28T19:29:00.000-07:00

the cold winter winds came creeping in
i couldn't sleep lastnight with the noun you gave me.
when i have nothing better to do, i remember-
you can be so mean when you say nothing at all.
+

i give myself a headache.

2010-10-28T12:14:00.000-07:00

. this weather is perfect today, i wish it were to stay.
. i could live a life winter free.
. i am all my father.
. i don't want to meet someone who can't drive in my car with me just listening to music.
. i spend my days off like most humans should but don't because they are ran by corporate.
. all most every dog i meet loves me.
. i will judge you on your taste in music.

K.O.

2010-10-12T20:37:00.000-07:00

Happy Born day to my dear friend Kristofferson!
Sending postive vibes over your way and wishin you the best on your day!

http://myrddiniv.tumblr.com/
+ Check him out, one of my daily favorites!

i'll tell you this

2010-10-12T20:27:00.000-07:00

it's a strange feeling to live in a world that you dislike.

eye.in.the.sky.

2010-10-12T19:57:00.000-07:00

Left v.s. Right Brain

2010-10-12T19:46:00.001-07:00

sergay.

2010-10-12T17:02:00.000-07:00

The last person you kissed, do they live near you?

No.

What were you wearing the last time you kissed someone?
I don't know.

What do you hate the most about Summer?
working on sunny days.

Can you recall the last time you liked someone?
i rarely do.

Are you happy with the way things are going?
for the most part.

Would you ever get a tattoo?
too late.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
unless i move off LI it's a chance.

Plans for tomorrow?
working as far as i got.
What are you listening to right now?
The doors live @ the Boston Arena!!! :)!!!

Who was your last text was from and what did it say?
Doc bbm "when we goin half on this baby" lmao he so crawwwzee!

What happened at 9:00am today?
noth, i was sleeping.

Do you and your last ex hate each other?
No.

Are you one of those people who are always cold?
No!

Where are your biological parents?
moms in the kitchen and my dad most likely in the woods.

What did you last drink?
arizona green tea.

Do you have trust issues?
eh.

Do you think this year will be better than the last?
my days are good, my nights better.

Are you a jealous person?
who has time for that in todays world?

Do you know anyone that smokes weed?
it's not even a drug.

Did you sing at all today?
danced.

Any stressful situations in your life?
humans just prey on the drama, and im sick of hearing thier stories about it actaully.
my life is good.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?
for sure.

Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?
Correct.

When you’re getting ready for something, do you listen to music?
always.

Where is your phone?
under my pillow?

If your phone goes off during the night, do you answer it?
no, i dont answer it even if it i wanna talk...im so badwith the phone.

Do you like someone whose name that starts with an A, B, C, K, J, S,
i dont like anyone.

Do you still talk to the person you fell the hardest for?
haven't been there yet.

Are your parents strict?
No.

Is your hair long enough to put in a ponytail?
yes<333

Has someone ever pushed you into a wall when kissing you?
Yes.

Whose unread text messages did you wake up to?
mike;s and emails from tiger.

What are your plans for tonight?
keepin it to myself - everyone is on some crybaby crap.

Who were the last two people you texted?
doc and mike d.

What are your favorite colours?
forest green.

Do you have a boyfriend?
no.

I bet someone’s annoying you, who?
beast childern at work.

Who did you last take pictures with?
kat.
Is there someone you want to hang out with soon?
Lisa, i miss her.

Nature is a language can't you read?

2010-10-11T20:46:00.000-07:00

Sunday was my only day off from Halloween hell at my job. What better way to spend the day hiking with my girrrrrrrrl?! Kat and I got egg sandwich's, and green teas from Starbucks and headed to New Jersey Palisades Overlook. It was a perfect day to visit this spot we've been trying to get to for a few months now. My camera died half way through so below are pictures that i took. Kat has the rest. I learned that Kat is afraid of heights and i am the epidemy of an Aries.Kat needs to think of everything and every move before she makes up her mind. Me on the other hand, as an Aries, WE JUST DO IT! Good and bad. I literally climbed over the barricades to take pictures at the end of the cliff that rose soo high that if you were to fall it would be an instant death. I had to talk Kat into joining me right up to the very edge - it was a high for me...Literally. Over time she did. We are rule breaks for the rush, experience and photos. The grounds were pretty decent for the location. The overlooked viewed parts of the Hudson River and Westchester NY.

+ More to come.

(k)new.

2010-10-11T19:34:00.000-07:00

. Fairwell snakebites :): & oranage hairs! - hello natural! .

. The day i met Coolio....at work! .

. the smiths .

. crooked foot racecar man at the supermarket

and then i drove into a shopping cart.

. Cottage cheese please<3 .

. brown for the winter! .