Sunday, October 25, 2009

. a state of solitude .

. i need some meaning i can recognize, a set of arms i can feel secure in, and a face i can recall . a state of solitude . yet I'm too tired to talk, to weak to think, too numb to care . even if your heart would listen, I doubt I could explain . but sometimes if you look, its written all over my face. reset the blame . the interesting part's always caught outside the frame .

The God I don't believe in, finally walked with me and sent me a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. Smile. I found myself reliving 5 plus years ago. A trip I haven't had taken in a long time, well, at least with someone live. A familiar face, a solid trust structure and a feeling of 'home' was received. It was what I've been calling upon for the past month. Though it's hard to keep a good name in these ever changing days I have found someone who has been the one true thing that remains the same. The rush of seeing the boy I knew become such a Man was overwhelming and brought joy when we went back to the very same way we left off, almost as if our friendship hasn't been on pause for the past 5 years. We caught up and talked about the hardships we had to face, alone this time. Unfortunately I heard how our friends we grew up aren't doing all, but to see him rise above made me even more proud of him. There's nothing more I like seeing than a good person doing really well and having everything pan out for them. I'm a sucker, I know. The God I don't believe in, cursed me with a good heart, which is awesomely shitty at the same time, but fuck it - i won the battle. I'm happy to have my long lost friend back in my life again and it was dope to here i am then same person they knew from back in the day and that "some things dont change!"

like ice cube, it was a good day.

^ I can't decide if i should be embarrassed of that closing sentence or not.
:: chuckles ::