Monday, March 21, 2011

someday soon-

there are three versions of this song, lyrics switched up ever so subtle that make all the fucking difference. i just love the sheer dreariness- the drag, the unknown point made. The feeling is felt.

Someday soon, someday soon

Familiar freaks will fill your living room
Rugs lash out with their lizard tongues, you’re not getting young
You’re not getting young

And I hate to remind you but you’re going to die
All by yourself in the infancy’s lie

Someday soon, someday soon
Television bleeding like a harvest moon
Flush the scissors down the hole, you’re getting old
You’re getting old

And I hate to remind you but you’re going to die
And you’re going to be needing all of your lies
You’ll be all alone when the cannibal’s cry
All by yourself in the infancy’s lie

Someday soon, someday soon
Someday soon, someday soon


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

"i want a rannnnge life"

Gone to shoot the shit with the ol' man for the past few weekends.
Nothing but good times:

+ family reminiscing
+ wellie's new home
+ fresh made beefy jerky skinned from a deer.
+ twizzlers
+ 'blue mountain beers'
+ monopoly
+ spades
+ science/nature talks
+ old photos
+ coffee on the porch
+ deer spotting
+ getting stuck in the mudd
+ overalls

Friday, March 11, 2011

3 souls 1 lost 1 gain

Some roads that you take

Some bonds we'll choose to break
I swore I'd no long be the pallbearer
But I carried you to bed
So you could rest your head
You were taking off a load, heavy drinking
The world it carries on
Your memories and song
And your pictures on my wall, are not forgotten
There was hymns that came from mouths
That turned crosses upside down
But it came through their teeth with great ease

And all are bobbing heads in sync
And all have got a lot on their minds to think about
But you carry on in pictures and in song
And the unmade be you slept in
Where I laid you down to rest one last time
Goodbye, dear friend, Goodbye, dear friend

Some stories break your heart
And some with such applaud
Buried deep inside, where it's ok to cry
Some boy's won't shed a tear
Oh, but I tell it like this here
It can break down and get me where it hurts the most

And all are bobbing heads in sync
And all have got a lot on their minds to think about
But you carry on in pictures and in song
And the unmade be you slept in
Where I laid you down to rest one last time
Goodbye, dear friend, Goodbye, dear friend

But you carry on in pictures and in song
And the unmade be you slept in
Where I laid you down to rest one last time
Goodbye, dear friend, Goodbye, dear friend

+ Miss you everyday and more gramps.

Friday, March 4, 2011

television bleeding, harvest moon-

Last Friday I got tattooed-
On my left shoulder cap i got a Harvest Moon.
a De(e)ar friend Gia did it, in her new Brooklyn sunny studio apartment.

A Harvest Moon?
If you are an up to date reader you should know...
1.) I love anything involving : sun, stars and moons. (harvest being a favorite)
2.) I am rebuilding a relationship with my father (science teacher)
3.) I have vivid memories of my father and grandfather always singing "Harvest Moon" - Niel young
4.) Easily a favorite song.
5.) Within the tattoo and the moon's cravats is an outline of a female, which I like to think represents
my spirit.

Here are shitty photos that serves the art no justice:

She is still healing, in fact there are still dry patches. Red is a bitch to heal, and quite itchier than normal.
I also have deep olive skin, which is why I had to go more red than orange. I am waiting for it to fully heal,
to decide if i want more shading of another tone of orange/red to be added and/or a filler around
the actual moon. I haven't decided yet, I currently love as is. I do love the reactions I have gotten. Some don't see the female as quickly- for it blends in with the contrast of the moon's surface. I've had people trace the outline to finally see, hey there's a lady! She's a meaningful addition and will go hand in hand with the present idea for my right shoulder. I am done for now with tattoo's. This will be my fifth. I used to think I wanted a sleeve, but as time grew- I too sheaded away from that idea. I'm currently diggin' the more hidden idea of tattoos, separate from the rest. And there you have it; my two moons. Get my corny ass joke?! hars!


Wednesday, March 2, 2011

owner of a (broken) haircut:

owner of a (broken<3) haircut: is really what i mean but HTML won't let me. but solve my riddle.

today i got a haircut. No, a literal haircut. with layers.
if you know me at all, you first hand know- i don't get my haircut and in the off sense i DO, (usually occurring every 3 years) it never  makes a difference. But today....i got a haircut? and to be honest it still, never made a difference. In fact now, i feel like an idiot with a haircut. Haircuts are stupid and make you have false assumptions on people you think are cool. The act of getting our hair done is so belittling. We've created yet another mindless judgement system off of something so dumb as a....follicle. I feel like this could be an episode of a children's comic book lesson. BECAUSE I'M A COMIC BOOK KID!

However, my hair does feel and look healthy, and i get that stance. It still is stupid. How(how)ever,
my gal, Rebecca (not bootin' ya yet) did a good job! So, if you think i'm an idiot- go get did by her at Supercuts, in the ton. She'll be one shoulder shruggin to the tunes while yelling "I quit!".

And well, it would only  be right if i end it with a current hit-

"Some of the biggest mistakes in my life have been haircuts."
- Jim Morrison

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Message Recieved+

Why did you not tell me you had a blog? :D

Almost two years running and I did not know this? This was a big surprise to me because I didn't even know you were capable of doing what you were doing. And here we are talking about which direction you want to take!

I took a good look at it. Oh yeah. A real good look at it. You jump around from music, poetry, personal thoughts, visual, everything. And what you talk about and how you put it all together was how I used to do it back at the Stony Brook Press and Myspace. Reminding me of how I used to do and where I was at.

You even take it a step further and show yrself going to all these shows and parties and get-togethers. Not in a forced FB way but in a more trendy, hotter, drop-it-like-it's-shit-hot experience.

Because of this, you're the most diverse female friend I know/have. Being diverse is a BIG fucking plus on the island full of clones, wanna-be's, robots, and dolls.

What REALLY bothers me about yr blog (and the only thing) is that I hardly see people commenting or saying shit about it.

I have so many ideas for a blog/site and my ass is being kicked. I really need to jump on a quick!
Keep it going!

On another note, did you take in anything I sent you the last time?

vmfx left this in my inbox.
An instant warm exposure. A man of great literature, knowledge and wisdom.
A man with an ear and a mouthful of music. If you have returned, Thanks-
i really appericate the feedback and the intrest. Also, sorry. I'm terrible
with the other emails, I will reply! :)

Monday, February 7, 2011

Me time:

taking the time off from:

. poor food
. facebook
. useage of my cell phone
. going out
. the useage of my car
. spending money
. humans
. cleared my cell phone out of people i dont share a life with anymore

starting up:

. body detox
. continue reading
. coconut water again
. cottage Cheese
. morning runs
. set bedside mode
. preparing for warm weather

+ i haven't checked myself in a while, the time is now.

if you made it thus far, use your resources to find me. +

Sunday, February 6, 2011

eyesclosed xx.

And she doesn't know; he doesn't know-
but there are those that do.
and in between the two:
are the rings they drew.
drawn together.
torn together.
the rings: beneath the eyes that don't see
but show the deapth their in.
and in your head it's never what it seems;
and in your head you make a scene.
we all become sinners at night.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


I often look up/read Jim Morrison's words/lyrics because i have so many rare/different versions of songs. I wanted to look up a versions of "Back Door Man" off The Complete Matrix Club Tapes. While googling, I stumbled on this article of someone who googled "What is a back door man?"  I then read through the entire article, including the comments. Some of it made me laugh. One line stood out to me, "However, if there's anything I've learned with age, it is to not always trust in the obvious." Cheers! +

The article basically displays three ways that others are led to believing what the blues term of "Back Door Man" really means/stands for:

1. Referring to a man having an affair with a married woman, and presumably comes and goes through the back door of her house.

2. On a literal stance: Having Anal Sex. "When Morrison and Plant were around, anal sex was even more taboo than it is today, and society was even more likely to blow its top (no pun intended) when someone mentioned anal sex."

3. 'Back door' is in the way of SNEAKING into concerts, usually the "back door man" helps to get another in. "Sneaking" and "Back door" on two different meanings, joining as one.

As a Major doors fan there’s just too many references throughout several songs that led us to believe it only means one thing. The Affair stance. My case in point brings me to the song "The Spy." The version of this song Live At The Boston Arena, Morrison adds on how his woman’s been bad, he's seen her with another man." Even without that clip, the song alone talks about "know knowing deepest secret fears, I'm a spy, I can see, what you do, and I know." If you know Morrison, you know his ways. Wild.

That's one way I believe it's just a reference to having an affair, sneaking out the back, and being Morrison.  The second reasoning is mentioned in the article. In the song "Back Door Man", when Morrison sings out:  "You men eat your dinner. Eat your pork and beans. I eat more chicken any man ever seen", it shows that the wife is feeding him better than her own husband. - As mentioned. "I'm a back door man, The men don't know, But the little girl understand" Sure, I don't doubt it was meaning and being the anal aspect as well, being it was the 60's and it was Jim. But after all, Jim Morrison is all for words!

And if you really ask me- thinking of scandalous Morrison is way more exciting as the what may first seem obvious.+ ::wink::

Monday, January 31, 2011

brooklyn boastin'


you wanna be here-

joe lee

are my best conversationalist's.

Saturday, January 29, 2011


type these words into your itunes library and name the first song that appears.

Happy: Best Coast - "Happy"
Sad: Le Loup - "Saddle Mountian"
Love: The Avett Brothers - "I and Love and You"
Hate: The Stokes - "Between Love and Hate"
Light: The Black Keys - "When the lights go out"
Dark: BLANK!
Good: The Doors - " We could be so good together"

Bad: Built to Spill - "Bad Light"

Smile: Lilly Allen - "Smile"
Cry: The Doors- "The Crystal Ship"
Girl: Animal Collective- "My Girls"

Boy: Iron & Wine- "Boy with a coin"

Morning Messages:

At 4:45am I cam home Friday night to this: from [k]

Dear Victoria,
I hear you when you call my name.
Crazy Carl
P.S. - I hope you love me back. I have a beard.

i also receive another a message on good ol' facebook from a stranger
around the same time:

"I read your philosophy on death, that was an interesting way you thought of it"

Not me. The God, Morrison.

Don't let me die in an automobile
I wanna lie in an open field
Want the snakes to suck my skin
Want the worms to be my friends
Want the birds to eat my eyes
...As here I lie
The clouds fly by

Amazing, Start to Finish
Lizard King.

Way ahead of us all.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

at night we give ourselves to the moon

your stranger like touch;
one whiskey like glow that could out shine the moon-
at high noon it will no longer matter.
those ungodly things-
mark my body as a home.
i keep you around my finger;
like a rubber band to a thought.


Double D's aren't always great.

Distance is Depressing.
I miss you (haha i ment to write 'so') many friends.
Each day, I am over Long Island. hmph.
I just want the snow to go away so i can go home. so many words.


Monday, January 24, 2011

I made one-

it's only with one of my hard drives stored with Music.
Do add, Do share, Do enjoy!

Grace & Tucker.

Meatloaf Night from Grace Manalo on Vimeo.

This is Grace and her man Tucker.
I adore them dearly.
Just look!

Grace is over in Delaware, I really miss her.
She made a few viedos on her blogspot and
they left me with a huge smile and a warm heart.
Happy for her.
Nice Meatloaf lady!
Come home soon!


Saturday, January 22, 2011

Incense and Their Uses:

Blue Berry - Burn to keep unwanted influences away from your home and property
Blue Roses - Specially crafted to honour the Goddess in all her aspects

Carnations - A sweet floral scent traditionally used for healing

Cherry - Sacred to Venus, this blend will attract and stimulate love

Cinnamon - Use to gain wealth and success

Coconut - Burn for protection and purification

Copal - Sacred to the Mayan and Aztecs, this blend is suitable for honouring the Gods

Frangiapani - Burn to brighten your home with friendship and love

Frankincense - Draw upon the energy of the sun to create sacred space, consecrate objects, and stimulate positive vibrations

Honeysuckle - Burn for good health, luck, and psychic power

Jasmine - For luck in general, especially in matters relating to love

Lotus - For inner peace and outer harmony, to aid in meditation and open the mind’s eye

Musk - Burn for courage and vitality, or to highten sensual passion

Myrrh - An ancient incense for protection, healing, purification and spirituality

Passionflower - For peace of mind, this sweet scent will soothe troubles and aid in sleep

Patchouli Patchouli - An earthy scent used in money and attraction spells

Pine - Burn for strength, and to reverse negative energies

Rose - For love magick, and to return calm energies to the home

Sandalwood - A delicious all purpose scent used to heal and protect, also for purification

Spice - A fiery scent to be charged for any magick

Spirit - Raise your personal vibration, attract spirit guides and honour
your personal deity

Strawberry - For love, luck and friendship

Tangerine - A solar aroma used to attract prosperity

Temple - A devotional incense for the altar during ritual

Vanilla - Stimulate amorous appetites and enhance memory

my motherearth in me.

this, is my mother. I am best of both worlds.

planned plans.

“One day you’re out here- broke… trying to put together enough for a sandwich. The next day you really got it happenin’– sittin’ in a studio you bought – and in the village, no less. Don’t ask me how it all happens, man. I guess you just keep going; you gotta groove through all the darkness…”

-Jimi Hendrix

MM FOOD, and i ain't talkin the good album.

Some people like to wine and dine.

I, love a good old town's deli.

On a sunday morning or anyday.

The morning lifestyle of a deli is something a diner could never reach.

food for thought, fah-realz. ( idk where that came from.)

Thursday, January 20, 2011

this is what i label as 'dope' + space funk.

...light it and take a drive with. The beat. Thats where my head is found.

being my friend involves: brain tweakers

Randomly at 12:00 at night I texted a random selection of people asking them to "Name a song right now..." Some took it literal and gave me current hits on the radio, while others gave me funny, bizzarre, random, wildest songs. Some gave reasons why the chose it. Some cheated and gave more than one. It made me laugh to see what everyone chooses and who chose what. It also made me laugh to see how each person took that question. I got to learn a lot about certian people and see where their heads are at. I know some real fucks! :) And Some are even gonna make it to the ipod!

Brien McCarthy said - Put it down on me - 50
Jaime C - Baby got back - Sir Mix A lot
Joe Lee - All you need is love - the beatles
Cassel - Wild Thing - Jimi Hendrix
Grace - Pretty girl rock - Kery Hilson
Sycko- Pretty girl rock - Kery Hilson
Tj- i need a dollar - aloe blacc
Jon Clue- Transylvanian Hunger
Carolyn- Barnacles - Ugly Casanova
Rick p- hahaha umm Fire Work - Katy Perry....where did that come from and where have you been all my life?  i said it cause it was the last song i heard on the radio i swear im not gay haha"
Caroll- Gone till Novemeber - wyclef
Nils- Your Touch - The Black Keys
Bj and Chad- Achilles Last Stand -led Zeppelin
Mike Dirt-  "Dig up her bones- The Misfits. Whats with the back from the dead call?"
- also "Une San Lumiere" - Arcade Fire
get ready: "for real" - Okkervil River,
 "Love Burns" - B.R.M.C
Take you on a cruise- Interpol
"love will tear us apart- Joy Division
"Torches Together" - MewithoutYou
"Twilight" - The Raveonettes
"Maps" - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
"bloc party"- This Modern love
"remind me" - Royskopp
Meazy said - " Getting jiggy with it" - Will Smith , I just played it at the bar on the juxebox it gets everyone jumping.
Johnny p- Warmth - Incubus
Cinematic - Umm The Xx remix of "you've got the love"....why?
Brooklyn Steve- A violent yet beautiful world - Au Revoir Simone
Twang One- Can we still be friends - Todd Rundgren
Sevo- he was knocked out.
Natlie- Crazy - Areosmith
Lexi- first that comes to mind is, Say My Name - Destinys Child

+ Thanks for contributing to the maddness!

Monday, January 17, 2011

End of an Era.

January 9th was the official day of my job's location closing. It didn't hit me until last night.
The gang that made Ricky's all went out for a final goodbye, dinner and drinks.
Together, we are quite the group. I don't think I ever laughed so hard.
The ladies that i worked with are all gems within gems.
I hope the best for everyone and know I still see them all.
I can honestly say no job will ever have that same experience that went on for 3 years.
Real cast of characters and times made.

the nomads get housed.

Saturday, I spent all morning running around then headed up to CT to celebrate and help Lisa move into her first apartment! It was exciting. I'm real happy for her. If anyone deserves it, it's her the most. We made a joke that her life if finally good. Lisa's shuffled from house to house, couch to couch and not once complained. She just did what she had to do. I admire her a lot for that reason alone. Lisa put herself through school, this year bought herself a car, helps take care of her niece and her father...all with a smile on her face, at the toughest of times. We used to call ourselves the Nomads, because we were forever sleeping everywhere. One of my favorite Lisa stories steams from when she was working at a small local super market. Everyday she'd work two jobs in hopes to someday go to school. As she worked, customers became regulars, one in particular took a liking to her. He was an older man, well dressed, warm hearted. In fact, Lisa and I went to school with his son. As he loaded his things on Lisa's line, he began to mention how much he sees her working in here and in town often. Lisa mentioned it was for her to go to school and pay the bills. The gentlemen then carried on a conversation with her and presented her with an offer: If she was as serious as she seemed about school, he would pay for her first few semesters if she received good grades. I will remind you that he was a semi stranger and to pick your jaw up from the fall. Yes, this went on for quite sometime. Lisa remained getting nothing less than an A on every radiology exam. I just really love this story for obvious reasons. I proud of the gal. After we settled out most of her stuff, well...she handed me a coloring book while she sorted all her clothes we headed down to the bar were our dear friend James was playing a show. Easy Street is the band, James is the nasty bass player. Nils accompanied us. I haven't seen him in years, yet we still talk quite often. I've missed him. He's always been a good look blue eyed gentlemen. Can show me a good time with nothing. We met him at the bar, when we got there he had two beers waiting for us. It's been a while since i've been to a bar filled with my people. It's a total different experience when you go out and don't know half of the heads there...and you don't really want to anyways. Anywho, I saw a lot of old faces I haven't seen in years. But i can not tell a lie and say that I really just wanted to be with Nils and Lisa. I was so excited the whole night...the surroundings were great, the vibes were there and the music was just right. As the night got older, it was time to throw the towel in. At 3 AM we decided to get fires. I feel asleep in Lisa's car on the way home. She still got me the fries. As her first house guest to sleep over, we went to bed. The next morning we woke up with the words...."This is so cool" the fact that she had her own place. We layed in bed and giggled at each others expense for about an hour until Nils called to get breakfast! The 3 of us went to 3 brothers diner. After, we went to get Nils a new shirt with his gift card because he had burned a hole in his favorite shirt. Lisa picked out a black, red and gray flannel and I choose a brown, tan and forest green. Nils bought them! It fit his, best beard having, ray ban glasses wearing, loud white pick up truck drivin' self. After that, we went back to Lisa's...because we can do that now! A few hours later, I packed it in and set home. It was good fun. +

thing(s) 2.

^ that made me laugh.

. my brain is in over load today, can barley keep up

. i just sewed an old sweater back up and added a new look to it with big brown buttons.
 its good as new again!

. i accidentally stole a pair of earrings....from a thrift shop. so many good wrongs.

. my car is so mad that i've been driving it everywhere latley

. my brothers feet smell so bad, that i am mad at him.

. twice this week i've been called 'wacky' and i take it as a compliment

. i really love hoopties and beards

. i made a cool beaded necklace

. Pasty Cline forever makes me think of times at my dads. He would cook and have her on
in the background.

. I'm really drifting away from long island

. If a turtle looses it's shell is it homeless or naked?! o_O

. i do just about everything in my car, from watching movies to putting on deorderant.

. i miss how chilling is, in CT.

three strikes and you're....

out of line

out of sight

out of mind


Thursday, January 13, 2011


I hate when I go to the pantry, to the refrigerator and then back to the pantry and act like something is going to better then the last time i was just there...

the music i start to clean my room with is always the total opposite at the ending time of room cleaned.

i think in words.

if your a passenger and i like you, i'll most likely play the baseline of the song on your legs.

i get happy legs when i'm happy.

my best friend and i have the most mind blowing conversations up and down 110.
i will most likely call you at random points, pick you up and make you ride for a drive...

i have absolutely no sense of direction and just shoot and pray for the best

i'm slightly in love with my Turkish gas station attendant.

which is odd because i always feel like a gas station murder would be so amazing and cant
believe is hasn't happened yet (?) that i kinda freak out because thats the thought i get EVERYTIME
at a gas station that i lock my doors keep the window open a crack and push in my car lighter.

i still hate the process of putting sheets on the bed.

as mush as i love words, i dont read as much as you'd think.

i have a hard time understanding how "LOL" and things like "Snooki' are real life things.

i answer my phone "HUH-LOW?!" many will think i'm pissed.

i don't know how to not whip my car around turns, it's almost impossible.

Friday, January 7, 2011

basic ma(+)h.

What are you going to do?

for ALL.



the snow alone gave more than what i could have said.
your mess, covered the town.
you've been bitter and cold
in the weather, in you.
rise up.
understand that when you take my sunlight-
i have an affair with the moon.
you spoke too soon.

Thursday, January 6, 2011


i've been slacking, more than aware.
i've been busy uploading my new ipod touch :: ohhh's ahhhh's ::
and if you know me - i've been over due!

i'm also in the middle of making a beaded necklace...stay tuned.

i've been dabbling into many goodies.
will get back into the blog flow again......soon?

tah-tah, for now.